MINDSET & MINDFULNESS

The one thing we can control in this life is how we choose to respond to what happens to us. Epictetus said, “We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.”

Jesus said, “It is impossible that no offense will come.”

Buddha said, “You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”

Lao Tzu said, “Do you have the patience to wait until your mud settles and the water is clear?”

Do you find you’re quick to react? Even to the smallest things. Maybe your go-to is anger. Maybe it’s worry and anxiety. Reacting is seemingly instantaneous, driven by emotion. Whereas responding requires thought. To take a step back from the situation, remaining mindful, evaluating, and then choosing how to respond.

This might seem minor, but it’s the constant reactions to the insignificant that start to chip away at our mindset, and we start to bring that negativity to the other parts of our life. Even more important, reacting to the small stuff is a clear indication that, when shit truly hits the fan and life gets real, you are ill-equipped to deal.

Mindfulness meditation has been a game changer for me. It’s not about not having feelings. It’s having the ability to be aware of what’s happening externally, as well as your internal thoughts and feelings, observing them, taking them in, and then letting them go.

Our breathing is deeply connected to this as well. The means by which controlled breathing triggers the parasympathetic nervous system is linked to stimulation of the vagus nerve—a nerve running from the base of the brain to the abdomen, responsible for mediating nervous system responses and lowering heart rate, among other things. The vagus nerve releases a neurotransmitter called acetylcholine that catalyzes increased focus and calmness. A direct benefit of more acetylcholine is a decrease in feelings of anxiety.

Just like strength training for the body, you can train your brain to remain calm, thus controlling how you respond.Think of peace of mind like the blue sky. Just because it’s cloudy doesn’t mean it’s not there. Peace of mind is always there, in spite of our circumstances, just a few deep breaths away.✨

“Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign anyone else that much power over your life.” - Mandy Hale

Have your been responding or reacting to life lately? Are you quick to anger? Find yourself bombarded by anxious thoughts? Have you tried meditation?

XOXO -

Jules

The 100-Percent Rule

I picked up this idea from an article I read last year, right around this time, and it can be a total game changer if you let it. That idea being the 100-percent rule.

We always have the best of intentions when forming a new habit or attempting to take on a new project, but all too often we fall short. We don’t commit wholeheartedly. Giving something 75, 80, even 99% is hard. It consumes our energy, usually creating anxiety, because we’re not getting the results we’re after. Putting less than 100-percent effort into things that matter in life means we are constantly falling short of our potential. And that leads to feeling like we’ve failed, over and over again.

“99% is a bitch. 100% is a breeze.” – Jack Canfield

From that article, the writer (Suzie Moore) does an awesome breakdown of how to start implementing the 100-percent rule in your life.

1. Identify exactly what needs 100 percent of your attention.

Not everything in your life needs 100-percent effort, but your heart knows what truly does. This doesn’t mean you now take on a million projects; it means you need to take a moment, look at what’s truly important to you, and commit. 

2. Put in the effort.

As I said above, commit. 99-percent is consuming, draining, and anxiety-inducing. 99-percent weighs on you and is heavier than the actual task. 100-percent will not be easy, not at first. But over time it will become habit, and a non-negotiable. You don’t have a choice. Whatever it is, just do it.

3. Repeat (again and again).

100-percent is how you achieve your goals, and reach your true potential. Once that goal is met, or the new habit is formed, it gives you the mental space for the next priority to become clear, since you’re not plagued by guilt about other multiple half-assed attempts. And when you give 100-percent, it becomes clear what isn’t important, and that stuff naturally falls away.

What am I committing to 100-percent? My writing. I will be writing every day; emails for you, blogs for the Lift & Love Life site, and content for products. I am not the most skilled writer out there, but I love helping people, and getting quality information out there is one way I can help. Committing to writing every day means my skills will improve, and I won’t feel the anxiousness that comes every time I do publish something.

So, with that I ask you, what’s important to you? What are you committing to 100-percent from this point on? Email me and I promise to check in with you periodically to help hold you accountable. 

“Desire is the key to motivation, but it’s determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal – a commitment to excellence – that will enable you to attain the success you seek.” – Mario Andretti

The time is now. Dear greatly, take MASSIVE ACTION, and commit 100-percent.

XOXO – 

Jules

Happy New Year, Everyday.

We are on our 2nd day of 2019, and I hope you've had a wonderful start to your new year.

The new year is always an exciting time. It's an opportunity to review your last year; what you've done well, and where you can improve. It's full of possibility. Dare I say, even a bit of magic?

But I have a little secret for you; did you know it's possible to experience this same magic on a daily basis?

Every morning, you are given a new day. Another 24 hours to get one step closer to your goals. And really, that's what progress comes down to. It's the little things, done day after day, that make the difference. Consistency is king when it come to making progress, no matter what the goal is. And each day you're given a fresh start to go for it.

Every morning, you are given another opportunity to grow, improve, show gratitude, and live joyfully.

Every morning, you are given another chance to dare greatly and take MASSIVE ACTION.

This is what I see in every sunrise. 

Every new morning can bring the same motivation and magic as every new year.

XOXO -

Jules

"Yesterday ended last night, today is a brand new day. And it's yours." - Zig Ziglar

33

Today is my 33rd birthday. I’ve never been one to loathe aging. In fact it’s quite the opposite. I’ve always viewed each birthday as a personal new year; a time to reflect and show gratitude.

Between my divorce, navigating life as a single parent, my mother’s cancer diagnosis, and my sister’s car accident, the last year has been absolutely brutal. Without a doubt, the most devastating challenges I have had to face thus far.

For years I was the queen of keeping a cool exterior. I viewed showing any kind of emotion, or asking for help as signs of weakness. Mind you, not when other people sought my council. No, it was only weakness if I required help. 

I was a rock. I could handle whatever blows life was going throw. And I was going to do it by myself.

This mentality seemed to serve me well through the first 30 years of life. It wasn’t until my marriage started to unravel, and I had completely lost myself in the roles of mother and wife, that my no emotion, no help, rock mentality started taking its toll, and some destructive behavior started becoming a daily practice.

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.” - Brene Brown

I had never learned the tools to cope with big emotions because I had never allowed myself to ever feel them. I shoved them into the dark depths, where they would never be seen (of felt).

I knew in the midst of coming to terms with my decision to file for divorce, and having just learned of my mother’s cancer, that this was a pivotal moment in my life. This was not something I was going to be able to send into the labyrinth, never to be dealt with. The pain, fear, and anger I felt was overwhelming. Consuming. And I realized I only had two options; let it break me down, or break me open.

I chose the latter.

We are not what happens to us, we are how we choose to respond to what happens to us.

We go through the tough stuff to grow and be better; because there will come a day when someone is struggling and are in need of the tools you’ve learned, and you will be able to provide them.

33 is a new year. There will be more pain (such is life), but there’s also going to be a whole lot of vulnerability, joy, and mindfulness.

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” - Brene Brown

XOXO - 

Jules

Shine Bright

Life can be tough, there's no doubt about it. Unfortunately it can be all too easy to let an imperfect situation get the best of you. It can be so easy to react. Reactions are driven through emotion. They are impulsive and lack cerebrate. Of course, we’re all allowed to have a bad day, and of course you’re allowed to vent when you need to, but you’ve got to be able to pick yourself up and move on. Life rarely goes as we have planned. It is going to throw curve balls. Don't be a victim of life; you have to have the mental fortitude to adjust and keep moving forward. When you break it down, life is 5% what happens to you, and 95% how you respond. 

Like most, I find it difficult to be around negative people. Being around someone who is constantly in the negative is draining. You might not even realize how much it affects you until you finally let them go. Every relationship you have; friends, significant others, family… they should be about love, support, and empowering each other. In true partnerships, and real friendships, we lift each other up, challenge each other, and always push to make each other better. It’s about nourishing each other’s light, and helping each other shine brighter. But you must keep in mind, it is so important to cultivate your own happiness, and shine bright on your own, before you can ever hope to help others shine. And you cannot look to others to bring you happiness. True happiness has to come from the self.

I have always lived my life by one particular rule; if you do not bring something positive to the table, if you do not influence my life in a way that lifts me up, I don’t have time for you. I give everything I have to the important relationships in my life (as most of us do), and if you’re not going to give me that same love/respect/support that I give you, you’re out. I know it sounds harsh, and sometimes it’s easier said than done, but when you’re finally brave enough to let go of whomever it may be that is dulling your sparkle, you’re going to feel like a new person, and your light will once again shine bright.

You have every right to a beautiful life, so shine bright, show the world just how amazing you are, and never let anyone dull your sparkle. The brighter you shine, the more you’ll positively influence the people around you, and that means you can affect change across the globe.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson

Shine on.

XOXO -

Jules